I recently spent three days in bed with vertigo -unable to raise my head above my pillow without getting instantly nauseated. Believe me this was no picnic. I couldn’t even manage my favorite sick time activities of reading and watching tv – both making it worse. Because of the terrible spinning sensation, I had to face one of my biggest challenges in life: and that is “asking for help.”
Perhaps this is how I am hardwired. Or maybe this part comes from my German upbringing, where our family stories are all centered around themes of hard-work, self-sufficiency, along with a brash mix of “I can do anything” mentality. Whatever the source, I realize that most of my life I have prided myself on being “low maintenance” and not putting demands on others. I feel an underlying sense of shame and embarrassment whenever I have to ask for help; when I have to admit I have needs, or if I might be inconveniencing others in any way.
As I was lying in bed the first day, with no hope of getting any food or drink for myself, I knew I needed to challenge these beliefs. I argued with myself that my needs were legitimate and I was worthy of having needs. So, I did something I’ve never done before. I reached out to my life group and asked for prayer. I asked my neighbor to bring me some food. And I challenged my heart to hold a space of gratitude for every bit of help I received. And you know what is crazy? It was one of these women who knew exactly what I needed to get better.
Somehow, I don’t think I am the only person with “Low Maintenance” mentality. We “LM” people need to be reminded every now and then that we are human; that we have needs, that we can ask for help, and that we are worthy of being helped.
Thank you to everyone who helped me. This was a tough lesson that I needed to learn.
Having been challenged with vertigo for many years, I truly appreciate your insight. I confess I didn't reach out and suffered. It's hard to ask for help when you've trained yourself to think you're not worth the bother to others.